Danielle Gerhard

DANIELLE GERHARD
			BASICS Character Journal: dgerhard / dgerhard Character Name: Danielle Gerhard Age/Birthday: 30/April 7th, 1980 Sexuality & Relationship Status: heterosexual, single Children: Aidan James Gates 10/February 24th, 2000 Job: principal at the elementary school How did they find Heritage Lake?: Heard about it through Connor, thought it would be good place for her son. Portrayed By: Sophia Bush Example Images: http://i52.tinypic.com/1j703r.jpg http://i52.tinypic.com/rm4utl.jpg http://i51.tinypic.com/25ahe8g.jpg PERSONAL Personality: Mother hen was never a more appropriate phrase then when describing Danielle. Even though she’s the baby of her family she has always loved children, and known she wanted to work with them. She gets attached easily and loves to get to know all of her kids in her classes and school. She sees in children the innocence that you lose as an adult but also the possibilities. Even with her son she’s always straddling that line of letting them have the freedom necessary to grow and learn and protecting them. She believes hate, anger, bigotry are all learned so as long as she doesn’t teach it and instead teaches tolerance, she can help change the world around her by helping the next generation open their hearts and minds. She’s always been a good friend, ready to help someone if they need it and every year her students would help her with her own charity work of helping feed families that might have a hard time through the winter. Her favorite charity is to help with food, blankets, and wood burning stoves for the reservations in the western plains. They are hit the hardest during the winter, and most families there have no electricity or furnace. Since her pregnancy she has had bouts with depression but keeps that mostly to herself. She hates it and sees it as a major weakness. She has medication for when it flares up, though it doesn’t seem to be seasonal, and hopes that one day she won’t need the medications. She does not want it to affect her life so often adopts what she calls, ‘fake it till you make it’ attitude. She’ll paint the smile on her face, take her medication and force herself out and to work. The only real sign that she is struggling is perhaps her smile is a bit more forced when she sees you and she seems to slow down a bit, struggling to stay active. She has headaches more often as well and will have more difficulty concentrating. She keeps all of this to herself if she can because her main priority is her son. She wants him to have as normal a life as possible and unfortunately he is well aware that she is wrapped around his little finger. She enjoys watching old movies, classics she calls them. Musicals especially and she does not drink. She’s never understood the urge, and after seeing her older brothers sick from getting drunk she knew that was something she was just not going to do. She doesn’t even like wine. She has a soft spot for animals and usually has a smaller pet in her classrooms. Her son is desperate for a dog and she knows it’s only a matter of time before she gives in. When it comes to playing good cop bad cop, she is the good cop. She can discipline but it’s always with more of a stern and disappointment in the behavior then a full out punishment. History: Born the youngest in a family of four, she was the pampered baby of the family. Her older brother Christian was only two when she was born, and the twins Michael and David were six. The only girl everyone took the opportunity to spoil her. She quite often got her own way, which also included being able to play with her brothers. She learned to hold her own in a fight early and was much more a tomboy than her mother had hoped for. By the time she hit middle school there were definite lines drawn between the girls and boys in class and even though she often bounced from one side of the playground to another, she started to dress a bit more 'girly'. Even asking to grow her hair out and get a perm so it would be curly like the popular girl in class. Alas, her mother said no to the perm but did help her do her hair in the mornings. She had her first serious boyfriend her freshman year of high school. Even her brothers liked him! Until they found out he was a senior. She protested loudly. First she pulled the 'girl' card and cried, when that didn't work she threatened them with physical violence. Her parents agreed he was 18, she was 15, no way. Unfortunately all that did was push her harder. The worst thing to tell a teenage heart was that it was forbidden. Romeo and Juliet complex set in and she started sneaking out. Friends would cover for her, and they continued dating. This went on for several months, until she caught him making out with the cheerleader sophomore. Heartbroken, her first reaction had been to walk right up to them and punch him. She broke his nose, got suspended, and grounded. Love. Sucked. She dated off and on through high school and by her junior year knew she wanted to be a teacher. Nothing was more exciting to her than when she got a good teacher, one that loved what they were doing and made the class interesting. Her parents approved, of course. Michael and David were both finishing up their respective degrees. One in engineering and one in computer sciences, and Christian hadn't yet picked a major. Every one of them went to Washington. It's where their parents went and met, it wasn't even a question of not going there really. So she started working on her grades and dropped a few extra curricular activities. Keeping volleyball and drama. Sure enough, just before graduation her senior year she got her acceptance letter. College life was good. She lived on campus, it was required for freshman, and she never really saw her brothers. Not that it was a bad thing, they just all took different classes and were on different parts of the campus. She didn't allow herself to get caught up in everything. She never pledged, though she was asked to, a sorority, and she turned down a few pick up lines. She was going to work hard that first year, surely one of the hardest because of the adjustment, and not worry so much about dating or partying. That plan went out the window when she met Connor Gates. He didn't hit on her or try a lame pick up line. They just talked. They had a couple of classes together and he was also on the education track. Study dates became more just dates and they seemed to just click. Being one year ahead he could even give her a head's up on certain professors. He was allowed to move off campus before she was but stuck in the dorms so they'd be closer and once she was allowed off campus they got an apartment together. Connor was everything she wanted in life. They had similar goals, interests, hobbies, but respected each other enough that they had time alone and with friends. They didn't slip into that puppy love must be with each other 24/7 thing, instead their lives just meshed and with school they were busy. Planning on perhaps trying to teach at the same school. They dated two years and already felt very much like a comfortably married couple. On their anniversary she was expecting dinner, a night out, he did more and proposed. It wasn't even a question for her and she accepted. Her family was thrilled, they liked Connor and while they hadn't set a date, they both knew it would probably be just after graduation for her. Only a month after their announced engagement she realized she was exhausted a lot of the time and that she had skipped a month. So she got an at home test and sure enough, it came out positive. At first she was worried. They hadn't planned for children just yet. They were both still in school. Nervously telling Connor, his joy overtook all the doubts and worries and she was sure they could work everything else out. She was wrong. She had gone for what was supposed to be a routine check up and they decided to do an ultrasound to get a more accurate due date. Since she hadn't been told there would be an ultrasound she hadn't invited Connor. She asked for a video or a photo to take home with her and they set up the machine so she could watch. She could tell by the tech's face something was wrong and the doctor was called back in. Twins ran in her family, and she was indeed pregnant with twins. The problem was with the umbilical cord. There should be two, one for each child, and there wasn't. Meaning the oxygen and nutrients were not getting to them both. The doctor, in a very calm and nonchalant way, explained that one of them would need to be terminated for the other to live. Within a week most likely. He set up an appointment for her to come back, informed her there was one girl and one boy and sent her home to discuss it with Connor. It happened so fast, she clutched the picture they had printed out and headed home as if numb. She still had class and so grabbed her things and left. Going through the rest of her day in a daze. It was her fault, somehow it had to be. After all, it was her body, she must have done something, or not done something. Thoughts kept her up all night. How did she tell Connor that she had to choose to kill one of his children? Unsure what to do and unable to sleep she slipped from bed, grabbed her purse and the ultrasound photo and headed to her mother's house. Waking her in the middle of the night to finally burst into tears and show her the photo. Her family did as they usually did an emergency and closed up around her. She spent the week in a daze. In tears and fluctuating with anger and depression. She had no idea what to do and was terrified that Connor would blame her as much as she blamed herself. Her mother escorted her to the hospital, and after the procedure, prepared to send her to her sister's house in California to finish out the pregnancy. She was reluctant to just leave and sure she had to finally confront Connor with what she'd done and what she'd cost them. Her mother explained that Connor knew and horrified she looked at her family, and David nodded his head. He said he spoke with Connor himself. She let David and her mother drive her to her aunt's house that night. She suffered from severe depression through her pregnancy and was put on medication for the last half of her pregnancy. Life had somehow taken a major turn and she just couldn't keep up. Once her son was born though, everything changed. After 47 hours of labor he finally arrived on February 24th at 7:10 p.m. She was sure that Connor would never forgive her for killing his daughter, because she'd never forgive herself, but she'd make sure his son was raised happy and healthy. She headed back to school, not allowing anyone but family to take care of her son, Aidan while she returned to classes. There were a few scares with Aidan when he was small, and no one could stop her from worrying or in many cases over worrying. She was on medication off and on for depression, told that the hormones from the pregnancy just put her system 'out of whack'. She was able to finish school and got a job a few towns over as a teacher for the third grade. There were times, she would watch Aidan and see Connor. She thought about sending him a picture, something, but always chickened out. She had gone to their apartment once, and it was already occupied by someone else. As far as she knew, Connor had stopped trying to contact her when he found out about the babies, and so she tried to let him go. Let him find someone that could give him a family without having to put him through the pain of losing a child. She raised Aidan on her own, he was her priority and so she didn't date. She worked, and she took care of him. That was her life. As he got older he started asking about his father. She'd been teaching for years now and had moved up to assistant principal. She always spoke highly of Connor and kept a picture of him for Aidan but had no real explanation for why he never saw him. She knew Connor spoke of Heritage and when she looked into it to tell Aidan about it, she saw they needed a principal for the elementary school. It was a nice town, from what she saw a good place to raise Aidan and she thought in some way, it would allow him to be closer to his father, by being in his old home town. Fears: Losing her son, heights, seeing Connor Desires: be off medication, her own house with garden, seeing Connor One Secret: She contacted an adoption agency at one point but found she couldn't follow through. Five Random Facts: Keeps a diary. Page a day books for the last 13 years. Keeps her nails short, mostly because she chews them! Is lactose intolerant. Can still out arm wrestle two of her three brothers. Taught women's self defense classes her junior and senior year for money for a car. Has a tattoo, Chinese symbol for family, on her left shoulder blade. OOC Your Name: Victoria Contact Info: same Age: same Holds: Sophia Bush, elementary principal under this one! Writing Samples: same

( Friends and Storylines )

I miss books.  I got this nook color thing and I'll admit it's nifty.  I can check my email, surf the web, it has magazines on it just like a real magazine!  Color glossy photos and articles.  There are a TON of books I got for free, mostly classics that I love.  I can even put photos on it like an electronic picture frame.  Plus!  A new android hack thing lets me do even more!

I still miss books.  There's just something about curling up in the corner of the sofa with a small light and a real book.  It's just not the same with the nook.  Even if it does light up so I don't need a light.  The only problem is I need more bookshelves!  If I'm going to get all the books I downloaded as my 'favorite' in actual book form, I am going to need a lot more room.

Speaking of room!  How is it, one growing dog and one growing boy takes up as much room and food as five grown men?  I'm really hoping it's just spring fever.  School will be out soon, the weather is fluctuating but we have more warm days than not.  Rainy yes, but that scent in the air of growing things and some flowers.  Not mine of course, but other yards.  I think kids and dogs are just itching to get outside more.  I don't blame them.  I've been opening my windows at night and wishing for an open sky.


[Connor]

Is there a reason Aidan keeps asking me when there's a weekend with rain?  He seems adamant that you two are doing something in the rain.  Also, thank you for Easter, I was worried he'd miss the egg hunts back home but he didn't even mention it.

[/Connor]

I've noticed there's a few people suddenly feeling the need to get out of town.  To be honest I hadn't planned on it.  I figured the kid could play with friends and I could relax some but still be able to get some work done in the office.  I've scrapped that idea.  I'm almost constantly asking myself what I'm doing here.  I have no friends, I have no family anymore.  Most of the people I work with try not to speak to me if they can help it.  When they do they are polite enough, but it's all very professional.  So work is just, work.  Seriously, why the hell am I still here??

I figure we'll get away for the week.  Go see what there is to do in another city.  Pretty sure the indoor water park will sway the kid to taking off for the week at least.

I'm having a bad dog day.  I think it's like a bad hair day, but worse.  Oh so much worse.  House training is not going well.  Potty training was never this bad, and that was rough.  This dog, I swear, likes to get yelled at!  Come home, walk the dog, start dinner, and set the table.  Walk right into a pile.  I've tried everything.  I swear!  I got those stupid grass mats!  He was outside for like an hour!  He held it until he came in!  Is that normal?  Then, he actually wagged his tail and smiled, I swear he smiled, when I did the whole shove his nose into it thing. 

Uggh.  I'm having a bad dog day.

Has anyone seen those infomercials for the indoor grass mat?  The one that dogs are supposed to like and use instead of my kitchen floor?  Do they work?  I hope they work.  I ordered three.  Well four technically, there's this special.  Man I need to start actually sleeping and not ordering things from late night television.  Yes, I also ordered that chef's basket thing and I don't even cook pasta!

Okay, so after much discussion, and some not too pretty begging and pleading, it has been decided.  We are getting a dog.  We have the yard, we have dog food, bowls, a leash, a collar, and yes even a dog bed.  Aidan insisted.  Oh, he's also insisting on being called A.J. now.  So now here's the thing.  Where the heck is the pound??  Or shelter, whatever they call it around here.  Looks like A.J. and I are going to get a pet this week!   I put it off for as long as I could!  <s>Hoping Connor would step up instead of hating me more than wanting to see his son.</s> 

So who can tell me where to go to get a dog that meets this criteria?

1. Must be bigger than a cat.  (A.J.)
2. Must be smaller than a St. Bernard (me)
3. Must be kid friendly (both)
4. Must be named Rufus (don't ask)

Anyone?

So, the house was ready on the third. We got most of our stuff in, and then started work. Well, work for me, and school for Aidan. With some, minor, adjustments to his schedule, he seems to be doing well. He took a call from grandma, that was awkward. I had to call the next day and get our phone number changed. That lead to a long conversation as to why. Aidan and I have a deal, we don't hide things, we don't lie. So it was a very uncomfortable conversation. He asked questions, I answered as well as I could. By the end of it he was so quiet. Aidan, isn't quiet. Once he started talking again, I assume that meant he processed everything, he had only two questions. If he could be home schooled, and if he could change his name. I invoked the 'one week' rule. I'm not sure that will be long enough. He had his own things to tell me about. Most having to do with the internet. The lovely internet that a 10 year old child is much more adept at using than you think. I'll have to call Sylvia, see if there's any possibility of getting my position back in Pullman. This is turning out to be one hell of a new year.

[blocked from anyone with the last name Gates]
Santa Clause bit the big one.  I mean, there are certain things you expect of your parents.  Certain lies they tell that you can live with, or at least understand.  Maybe not right away, but when you are older, when you are a parent yourself.  You get that some things are just little fairy tales, little white lies you tell your children to please them, to help them understand things too painful for them.  Or too difficult for them to understand.  You live with it.  You get older and you forgive them.  For all the little white lies.  Santa Clause is real.  Your dog went to live on a farm.  Grandma went to sleep and didn't wake up.  They are in a better place.  All things you can learn to live with.  Even after you find out it's all a lie.

There comes a point, when you are old enough to just, not expect any more lies.  You're an adult, you can discuss things with your parents, your family, you can trust them.  I thought my family was close.  They always had my back and I theirs.  No matter how much it hurt, the truth was told, and dealt with.  My family was the one constant in my life.  The one thing I could trust and count on no matter what.  My life has been turned upside down before.  I've dealt with things, I never thought I could, I just, wasn't strong enough for.  But I had my family.  that I could hold onto, that was solid.

Now I don't even have that.  I could take a million Santa Clauses.  A million tooth fairies.  But this is just, unforgivable.  I called them, I heard more lies, when I caught them in them, when I could argue the lies for what they were, the truth finally came out.  Too late.  Too.  Damn.  Late.  I can't go back.  I can't go forward.  I'm stuck, and I'm really alone this time.
[/blocked]

So, my timing could be better. I don't actually report into work until after the New Year. Which I thought would give me plenty of time. Little mistake with the sale of our old place and now we are celebrating Christmas in a hotel. I have been assured by Aidan that this is even better than being in boring old Pullman for the holidays. I think it's more that he doesn't have to make his own bed while we are at the Lodge and free cable that has him excited. I will admit it makes hiding presents quite a bit more complicated. I don't suppose there are lockers I can rent around here to pile them into?